My remaining days left in HK are numbered and there's not a lot left, afterall I'm leaving on the 16th and going back to Toronto, Canada. Remember how I said i was feeling both excited and nervous at the same time about all of this? Well I've been getting more nervous with each passing day, and when it all boils down...I'm actually no longer sure how I feel about my going-back to Canada any more. For the last two days, it's been my last days to go out with friends (since today and tomorrow are reserved for family and then on the day after tomorrow, Monday, I'm flying), and when we all say our goodbyes in the end with so many people that I've met up with, I realized how much I'm gonna miss them and it felt terrible knowing that this is it and I probably won't be seeing them till next summer or perhaps never again. After these 3 years in HK, I've developed some of the closest relationships I've had with friends and people that I've ever had, and now I would have to move onto the next chapter of my life. You know I've always hated the fact that throughout my life, my environment and friends have always been changing with me moving away or others moving away, after being there for only 2-3 years and only having to get used to things and then everything starts over again. It's like I have never developed any long-term relationships with people. And I must say, of all these major changes I've been through (from moving from the ends to ends of Toronto, to being in mainland China, and now being in HK), I would say that this has been the best change for me because like I said, I've made some of the closest friends I've ever had in my life. But I know that it was also my dream to go back home to Canada and that it has always been what I wanted throughout the last 6 years. But now I'm no longer sure about how I feel towards that any more. It's like when you were a kid, when you wanted something really badly, you would whine, kicking and screaming, and cry your ass off for it. But after waiting for so long and after so much crying, when that thing is finally handed to you, you don't want to care any more and just want to put your chin up and say "screw that...it's too late for that now". Now I might be childish, but I'm not that childish, I'm just using this old example to sorta explain how I feel right now. I still want it, but just now sure how much I care about it any more. You know, long time ago, I once said that if the friends I have here and the happiness I experienced in between could last forever, I would be willing to give up my dreams of going home because this was good enough for me. But I know that even if I stay, eventually the others would go in time to come, so it can't last for as long as I wanted it to. Besides, it is time that I should return and move on with my life like the way it should and that I wanted, in fact I should be feeling happy about going home too...but I can't deny the fact that right now I'm feeling rather depressed because I know I will miss them ever so much and that I love each and every one of them.

All that begins well, ends well. I'll miss you all so much...Aishwarya, Carl, Francis, Jon, Sharmaine, Archie, Jeremy, and so very much more (and if I were to include all of them it would take up a whole paragraph). And I love you all too, especially "that person" (even though I've already came clean with that person and things were straighten out). Lastly, but most importantly, I'll miss my mom...there have been many times that we couldn't see each other but we were still together (like back in the days where she had to work really hard to raise me and it was hard to find a day where we could be totally together), but this would be the first time I would actually be living away from her and won't be seeing her till next summer. And she would have to be the most important person in my life, and I love her so much...I better stop now or else I'll be going into another moment where I might break into tears. But all in all, I'm ready to face what's ahead...I think. All I can say is that I hope and I pray that everything is gonna work out for the best and that I can see all of everyone soon and that it'll all be okay. Now before I go, I just wanna dedicate a whole bunch of songs to reflect my feelings right now, but the one that best suits with everything and that has always been on my mind would be "Goodbye to You":

"Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tear from behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
and I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold onto

I used to get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
to a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold onto

And it hurts to want everything
and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you, but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold onto...

And when the stars fall, I will lie awake
You're my shooting star"
- "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch

Goodbye HK, my friends here and my family...I'll see you all very soon, hopefully. Take care, God bless. And the next time you would be hearing from me would be from Canada. :-) Goodbye.

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"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life."
- "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by Green Day

"We won't say our goodbyes, you know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that's right..."
- "All We Are" by OneRepublic

"And I just hope you know
that if you say
Goodbye today,
I'd ask you to be true

Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you."
- "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance