For those of you who know me quite well, you would know that I've had a very painful homesickening experience when I left Canada in about 5 years ago. I can't tell you what it was like, because if I did it would take hours and perhaps a whole day to tell you my story. But I think you already got the idea of how dramatic and what it was like for me. Well back when I was in Canada (to be more precise, the community of Nobleton, near the city of Toronto, of Ontario, Canada) I used to have a friend called Bruno. He would probably one of my best friends back then. And after I left, we still kept in contact but soon he moved to elsewhere and I didn't have his new phone number and he always made new MSN usernames, so eventually I lost contact with him. Recently, I spoke with another one of my friends back in Nobleton, and was talking about him and everyone else who were in Nobleton, and I discovered that I can find him through this facebook thing. And that's what I did and I searched and found him. Messaged him about a couple of days ago and today I got a reply and was accepted in his profile. I was touched that I got to contact my old friend again. And then on his facebook, I was looking into his pictures and

guess what I found? The class photo of our Grade 6 class (i left Canada during the middle of Grade 6, that was my last year)! I was so overwhelmed that I was shaking and I felt like I was about to burst into tears. And to make things more intense, guess what?...I wasn't in that photo...I dunno what to say...On one hand, I feel joyful that I get to find our class photo from back then. And at the same time, I feel terrible for the same thing...This thing is like as the Mastercard commercials would say, priceless.

 

Oh, and I still remember most of everyone in that photo. When you have to leave your home suddenly, go to a place you loath, and becoming dreadfully homesick, you remember every single detail of your "home". Plus the fact that I am someone that holds onto many things and memories, and never let go, just makes it worse. This is just too much. I mean I just reconnect with Bruno, and then before that, I reconnect with another friend from Nobleton, got his address and phone number, and now this. oh, imagine how overwhelmed I would be when I see them again once I go back to Canada (if all things goes right, I'll be leaving in time for the next school year)...I really don't know what else to say cause I'm speechless...so I'll end here. Goodbye.

 

 

"What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight."
- "Helena" by "My Chemical Romance

 

P.S.: No, that kid at the bottom left, I don't think that's me cause I still wore glasses, and had no contact lens then.

Well nothing much for me to say here. You guys always complain about how I almost always have tons and tons of words and text on my blogs. Well for once, I'm gonna post more pics and less words for this entry. Besides, the title of the entry already explains pretty much everything. We went to Lamma Island (one of the 'outlying islands' of HK (still part of HK, mind you) , for my dear "non-HK" friends. :-D ) today, just me, my mom and my grandma (btw, we're alright now) for a day-trip sorta thing. Anyways, the pics are actually seperately in the "Hong Kong", "My Family" albums. Don't be lazy, and be remember not to only look at pics but also read the stuff I type sometimes, because every word I type is little bit of me. Cheers and have a nice day!

Well technically today's Chinese New Year! So...Gung Hei Fat Choi and all that good stuff with the red packets (i'm tired of explaining what red packets are, if you want a better explaination, ask me for it). To be honest with you, that's the only thing I ever cared about for Chinese New Year, the free money,lol. Cause personally I don't really care at all about Chinese New Year even though I'm Chinese ethnically speaking. Anyways, I got $300 HKD this year which is about $50 CAD or $37.5 USD. I was kinda expecting more now that my grandma's here and there's one more person but i actually got less than last year. :(

 

But anyways, it hasn't been a great day. And according to traditional Chinese customs, it's really bad to have unfortunate events happen on Chinese New Year. Not that it concerns me but I find it quite ironic how everything should be cheery and such and yet crap happened. It's a long story. Remember how I said that something bad was bound to happen now that my grandmother's here. Well something finally did happened. It all started with last night, we were playing cards and my mom and my grandma were talking with each other, and all of a sudden they were talking about something and then it started getting rough, and then offensive remarks were shot back and forth, until eventually it got nasty. As a result, they got all pissy with each other and by this morning they were all weird with each other and got negative. My mom asked me to stay with them and go along to breakfast with them to make sure they would be okay. But that would mean I have to miss church and I didn't like that nor to have Chinese New Year affect my attendance. Also after all the stress I've been having, I just wanted to have my little escape at church. But nonetheless, I still followed my mother's wishes, but at the same time I felt kinda edgy and basically all of us were quiet and feeling bad in our own little ways. The real shit happened when I got out a can of coffee and my mom told me not to drink it because we're about to have breakfast anyways, but I just ignored that and opened it. Then she finally snapped and exploded on me, saying that I was a disobeient and deliberately giving her pressure. And with that, she walked away real fast and left me and my grandma alone.

 

So for the next hour, I was kept on trying to call her and I was already pissed. So much for going to church, so much for Chinese New Year, so much for getting an escape. When I finally reached her, it was my turn to explode because I've had it with all of this. I'm innocent, when they're having a hard time, I have to stand by and be a part of all this but yet I have to hold everything in and just accept it. But when things don't go my way with them, I just suck it up and hold it in while they get to explode on whatever whenever? That's so not right. Anyways, I blasted her about the fact of how unfair it was that she would freak out on me for opening a can of coffee and saying i'm not being considerate enough, when I have to give up what I wanted to do and I was suppose to be more angry than her. I can't tell you the exact things I said but I can tell you that I got so furious (if you know me quite well, you would know that I have my emotions are very extreme) that I was yelling throughout the whole call. By the end of the call, I got so pissed that I hanged up, scream and sobbed a bit and kick the coffee can and the garbage can. Since I was also standing in a crossroad, i basically caught everyone's attention. Trust me, it wasn't good.

 

It's just that I'm angry about the fact how people can never be tolerant enough to hold back for once. Me, i have to suck these things in and hold them in and try to think as reasonable as I can, but it seems like the people around me, they get to explode whenever they want for whatever. (I guess that's why I get overexcited and get all weird in front of people I feel comfortable with, like friends, and that I don't hide my emotions much) I mean, seriously, I felt like I'm the adult and that they're the kids, sometimes. Cause what happened last night was like a kids' fight. It was pathetic, I saw where it was going at when they were talking back and forth, so I kept on saying "shut up". But nooo, nobody hold back, nobody shuts up. Something's gotta give, but no one's willing to be the one that let go of their ego and take a step back, take a breath and do the reasonable thing.

It's like one of my philosophies of life, never fight fire with fire, unless you have no other options to use. Cause when you fight fire with fire, the only thing you'll get is a bigger blaze. And I'm using all of this as metaphors. When someone's dealing you in a very harsh, mean, nasty way and fight, it's never a good idea to fight back in the same way they're doing it. Use something else, anything else but that. Water, find something to calm down the situation. Sand, something to cover up. Oh, but not wood, and by wood I mean things that might intensify the heat, something to make it worse and feed the bad feelings. If only us humans were more tolerant and accepting of each other, wouldn't it be a better world? Meh...WE suck,lol.

 

Well, nonetheless, good luck with everything. And hope you guys are doing alright. :) Gung Hei Fat Choi, again. Even though I find that greeting ridiculous, i mean it's not like we're actually gonna get luckier or anything if everyone's gonna say that. See ya.

 

P.S.: Back when I made this entry, I never had the time to finish it and only the main message in the first paragraph. So it took me until now to edit it and fully completely. So yeah...heh.

"Happy" Bloody Valentine! Heh, got the "bloody" inspired by the song "My Bloody Valentine" by Good Charlotte, which would be like my song of the day, lol. Oh, and yes, and I am jealous at all your cheery couples out there holding hands, doing all that mushy talk, kisses, *cough* stuff *cough* , and all that good stuff. You know, Valentine's Day is ought to be one of the most unfair days on the calendar. All the couples get all happy and romantic while the singles are all just "meh"-ing and do nothing but watch. And as for me, even till now I've never had a date in my life or even have kissed somebody or have been kissed. But meh, nonetheless, I hope all you guys who are in a relation, a good time and treasure your loved ones and all those around (remember Valentine's doesn't have to be just have to be love and dating relations). Just remember not to do all that loving stuff in front of me when I'm around, lol.

 

 

 

Anyways, apart from a little Valentine's Day greeting, I also need to make a major update on what's been happening lately. A week or two ago (about Feb 3), my grandmother had came over here and is now staying with us. It was quite surprising. About three weeks ago, she called us and told us that she was planning to visit us soon. But then a day after she said that, she called again and told us that she had already bought a plane ticket cause she noticed that most of the flights were full due to Chinese New Year holiday and were expensive and it just so happens that there was this one seat available and was still in a decent price so she immediately bought the ticket. Besides, Chinese New Year's coming and we have a week and a half of holiday (for us kids, adults have a few days), so it's a good time to come over and visit us.

 

I must say i didn't hold a good feeling about all of this. It seems much too sudden that she would suddenly come over here. I mean it has been less than a year and I didn't expect her to be so sudden when she mentioned that she said that she was "planning" to come and then tell us that she was really coming. Also, like last time, I'm afraid that she and the rest of us would have arguements or have some sparks firing back and forth in the end, just like how it happened last time. SO yeah...
But on the bright side, I guess I'll be receiving more "red pocket" or "lai shee" (these red envelope of money that elders give to younglings during Chinese New Year) this year. Also, like last time, she got me two t-shirts from Roots (a Canadian clothing company, kinda like Gap or something) just like I asked her to. Except this time, the t-shirts were a bit too simple (whereas the ones last time were a bit too overexaggerated). One was dark blue, had this cycling picture sorta thing and it looked alright except the only thing that bugs me is that there are the words "British Columbia, Canada" when I am from Ontario, Canada. And then the other one was grey and that one sure looked real simple. Kinda look like the undershirt you would wear at home. But still, I'm glad to receive those. *shrugs and smiles* anyways, I just hope for the best.

 

 

 

On another note, life's been stressful for me these days. Semester exams just finished, schools and friends have been a mess, and now this happening with my family - trying to get keep my grandma company and having less private space to breathe in...yeah. Even I've been on the computer less lately. And then even though we'll be having our Chinese New Years holidays, we still have tons of homework and I know for a fact that my report card isn't that good, but I guess it's still accpetable. And then I just had this emotional breakdown (if you know me, you'll know what I mean) yesterday just after school ended. It was qutie intensive, long story...maybe I'll share it next time. Well I think I'll end this entry now. Again, "Happy" Bloody Valentine!

 

"Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet
and so are you.

 

But, the rose are wilting,
the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head."