okay, i just wanna take this blog entry here to inform you that...

I'M GOING TO JAPAN!!!

but you already know this from my last entry. but anyways, i just wanna say that my flight is the first thing on Tuesday morning and I'll be back on Saturday night!  i'm so friggin' excited about it. Japan has always been at the top of my list of places to go and travel, and now...yay! but the bad thing is we'll only be there for like 4-5 days and that's it... but oh well.

btw, this must be something like Murphy's Law or something because for these last couple of days before our flight, shit has been continously happening. mind you, this trip was originally my parent's business trip. it's because amanda also came over, then they're buying us tickets for us to use this as our own little personal vacation. but then my mom and my younger siblings would be staying home. but my sister just got sick last night, which makes things more difficult for them while we're gone. now isn't that great eh? not to mention that my paycheck got rejected when I tried to cash it in today because the "or bearer" part was crossed out! *rolls eyes* but thanks ot my beloved mother, she gave me the same amount of money I would get if I had my paycheck plus extra and I can give her the cheque when I go to work next week. so yeah, that's that. but like I said, no fucking thing is gonna stop me from enjoying my time there. shit may happen, but in these circumstances, I won't allow it to affect me too much. so wish me a good time and let's hope things would be as good as it gets for us. I promise I'll take as many pictures and upload them and post them as much as I can.

now, not only is it a vacation for me, but let me make this entry a vacation for you from my usual long ass entries that are full of words, by posting these pictures I found from my friend's (sakerra550) xanga, who in turn, had found it on the famous PostSecret, which I liked and found interestingly true:

"

*Note: I did not create these, they were made by someone else and I stole them from Postsecret.com*Captions are added due to the fact that some of them cut off.



Some people believe that holding on and
hanging in there are signs of strength, but
there are times in life when it takes much
more strength to just let go.

I believe that people are inherently Good


I have tried telling you all I need help. But
none have listened.

Despite the walls you buil, I'm here. You don't
have to be on your own.


I want to go back to believing in everything and
knowing nothing at all.


All I want is for you to be honest with me. And happy.
I could never be dissapointed in you. So don't be afraid.

 
Please stop focusing on yourself for five
minutes and actually listen to me. I don't
think I'm going to be okay this time...

Sometimes we put up walls not to keep
people out, but to see who cares enough
to knock them down. (PERSONAL NOTE: very true indeed...)

I want to go home, but I haven't found it yet. (PERSONAL NOTE: i think i know what it is, except I'm just not sure if it is it)


I think what I need more than anything else in the
world is to be told (Just once) that a friend doesn't
know what they would do without me.



I hate my brain so much for all the mental health
problems it has caused me. I want to rip it out and
punch it!

"

"The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal

Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relapse again

Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back

You're a regular decorated emergency
You're a regular decorated emergency"

- "Camisado" by Panic! at the Disco

Okay, it's really time for an update. First and foremost, Happy New Year, 2008! Hope you all had a great New Year's celebration. 2007 hasn't been a good year for me. Everything seem to went downhill, and there were far too many upsettings things that have outnumbered the amount of uplifting things that had happened. I think the main problem were my relationships between me and my friends. Throughout the year I bled my heart out for them, I have been disappointed, depressed, neglected and even cried for them and the things they did, whether to me or to my friends, which are also they're friends. So for 2008, it would be a year where I would be placing all my dreams and wishes on because I know it'll be a big year of changes and it's be quite an adventure with a series of events that are going to happen. Some are going to bring an end to certain things, some are gonna be the start of something new and perhaps wonderful. I just wish for new hopes, good endings, new accomplishments, good beginnings. Let me list a few things that I know are going to happen, I'm finally gonna be going "home", I'm going to have "real" high school, so I'm hoping that there would be good beginnings to all that. I'm going to be leaving this place and my friends behind, after all the things we've been through and how it has been a bumpy ride recently, I just hope that all in all, the ending to all this would be a good one.

In other news, if you're one of my dedicated readers, then you would know that my stepsister, Amanda had apply for an exchange program during the summer with the universities here in HK so that she could come over and also visit us as well, and that she would arrive sometime during the winter. Well guess what?...SHE'S HERE! :-O yep, on Friday (Jan 4), it was when her flight landed and we picked her up. at first, before she arrived, I didn't know what to expect or how to react. because one hand, I was excited and on the other hand, I was nervous. excited to see her again after all these years (for as far as we've been "away") but nervous because we all must have changed some way and I wonder if we could get along the same, and I was also worried what she might think of this place and us. Because I remember when I first left "home" and came to Mainland China and HK, I looked at the apartments, the schools, living conditions and all that and said "this is it!?!" with an bad impression. I know that's very mean of me but I couldn't help it. I wasn't used to how things over here. So I was afraid she might feel the same way and think we're like...folks from the ghetto or something.
But fortunately, she didn't think like that. In fact, she was still the nice friendly person as she has always been. What was unfortunate was that I kept on acting all weird, quiet, awkward, unnatural and dorky around her. Which sucks big time because this was the exact same thing I was also worried about as to whether or not she would think I'm a dork when she sees me (since my life has always been...a drag in a way and I've always had problems...forget it, it's complicated and I don't wanna explain), but yet here I am already acting like one and screwing things up even though she didn't really see me that way in the first place. I don't know why I was reacting like this. I couldn't hold conversations, it was her that kept things alive between the two of us. I couldn't seem to find the words to say. Damn, if I was her, I would have already given up and be thinking, "what a dork". It's weird, when I meet a total stranger, yes, I would be a bit quiet and slightly shy and there would bound to be awkward, quiet moments...heck, even when I'm with my friends, there are still awkward pauses and slient moments...but never has it been like this. I think it's because right now I'm with someone who's suppose to be family and someone I'm suppose to be close with and after losing contact for so long, there's this void that fills in during all this time, and this is what happens. I start becoming all closed-in and I hate this...I just hope she'll still be able to bear with me a bit more longer...I'm working on it. :)

And even though she's staying for a couple of months and that we've got tons of time together and that we might be flying on the same flight "home" (yes, I'll probably be flying with her when she leaves, which is exactly after I finish this crappy school here and be free and leaving as well), still I've already given her a bad first impression of myself. I just hope things would warm up between the two of us as soon as possible, especially before our trip to Japan...yep, you heard me, I'M GONNA GO TO JAPAN!!!
okay, so originally, about a month or two ago, my parents (they work in the same company...secretly, their collegues don't know because it was my stepdad, as General Manager, who hired my mom) were assigned to go on a business trip to Japan this month to do something. but since my stepsister would be coming over here and visiting us as well, we decided that they can also pay for the extra tickets and make it a vacation trip for us to go to Japan as well! 
now this is exciting, Japan had always been at the top for my most wanted places to go and travel because there's so much to see and so much to do. and finally now it's coming true. tickets are booked, we're leaving somewhere on the 20th-something. only gonna be there for a week though.
the only bummer part is that it's only for a week (5 days actually) which is not enough. and also, my mom's not going, she's staying because someone has to look after the kids (my siblings) afterall we can't also bring them along. cause then we'll have to buy more tickets, which are expensive, and plus taking kids on a trip is a bad idea. especially when it was suppose to be a business trip in the first place. which means that there's only me, my stepdad, and my stepsister. I don't mind being with my stepsister (in fact, that was the original plan, my parents go first while we stay behind and when they come back, we go), but if there's also my stepdad coming along...it's just awkward. afterall, we're not close even though we've been getting along with each other better these days, but still...me and him...  . also I feel weird about how we'll be off doing all own things and then he'll be left out (but then again he has work anyways...but what about after work?). or like when we eat dinner together, i'll be the odd one out because they're the geniune father-and-daughter.
but meh, I got what I want, all I care is that I'm going to Japan and that's all that matters. and NOTHING is going to ruin that for me! so wish me luck and a great time. I'll try to take as much pics as I can and I'll be sure to post it here. but that's all for now, take care, God bless. and once again, may there be new hopes, good endings, new accomplishments, good beginnings for this new year. :)